More advise from years past

"After breakfast, work awhile;
After dinner, sit awhile;
After supper, walk a mile."

If you want to make sure your baby won't be crossed eyed, make sure that he does not look at himself in a mirror.

And this is one of my favorites:

If your ears are burning, name one person you think could be talking about you for each ear. You will know who is talking about you when that ear stops burning.